Every day we would sit at the bus station and talk. She loves to talk, and I love to listen.
Sometimes we talk about whatever book she’s reading, or just about the weather.
I listen. She really has a lovely voice.
She’s talking again today, just like any normal day. It is a normal day.
Today she’s talking about flowers and their meanings.
I don’t know much about gardening, but she has a garden, I think.
I got distracted and stopped listening to her.
That never happens.
That’s not supposed to happen.
She talks, and I listen, that’s how it works, that’s how it’s always worked and always will work.
It’s just my imagination, I know it is.
Trying to distract me from what she’s saying.
She was talking about flowers.
I wasn’t listening, and she was talking about flowers.
It was something about messages, like how back in the day people would send each other flowers in letters to convey their feelings.
She gave me some flowers one day, and she was explaining them.
Now I remember, that’s what she was saying;she was explaining them.
Yellow marguerites meant someone would arrive soon and White roses were a sign of rejection.
Would you shut up already!?
I need to remember, what flowers did she give me!?
Go away already!
Why can’t you see I’m busy here?
What were the flowers she gave you that day?
It was the- dammit, why didn’t I just listen to her?
Of all the days that was the most important, why?
Why didn’t I listen to what she was saying like always!?
Maybe then she wouldn’t have-
“Call the hospital right now, Ellie can you hear me, wake up!”
I need to know;
Nothing else matters now.
We continue to sit at the bus station.
She’s not talking anymore; she just looks at me.
I ask her what’s wrong.
I wish she’d keep talking about the flowers.
She looks at me and for a moment says nothing.
She thanks me for listening, I’m the first one to actually listen to her.
She hands me something; it’s wrapped in newspaper.
I go to unfold it, but she urges me to wait until I get home.
That’s what it was. The flowers were red tulips and chrysanthemums.
If only I had known.
If I’d listened to her that day, maybe we’d really be sitting at that bus stop together.
No…if only I didn’t have to bring her own flowers back to her today.
✼I open my eyes for her sake, even if it means leaving her behind.✼
